ALL STRESSED OUT

Balancing the Family and the Business!

It was a cold day, even for November. Jess jumped out of her seat and yelled, "GO, Redbirds, Go... Keep driving, WHOO!" The rivalry between the East Side Redbirds and the West Side Phantoms had reached critical mass. One more victory meant playoff qualification. The score: Redbirds 7, Phantoms 13. There was less than a minute to play as the Redbirds completed their eighth play of the drive.

"Time out!" Shouted the Redbirds' coach as he called his quarterback to the sidelines with 12 seconds to play. The Redbirds were now threatening at the Phantom's 8-yard line.

Jess was on her feet along with the entire 7th Grade Booster Club as the Redbirds made their way to the line to make their final attempt. "Blue 25, Blue 25 hut, hut..." the ball was snapped from center. The quarterback faked a quick pass and pitched it to the fullback. The defense bit and committed a full pursuit to bury him. As quickly as the Phantom defense felt victorious in shutting down their opponent, their expressions switched to horror as the ball was passed over them to a wide-open tight end... touchdown!

Jess screamed with excitement along with the rest of the Redbirds' fans. Her jubilation was tempered by anxiety, though, as she knew what was to come. Her son Josh, the kicker, could win the game by kicking the extra point. Josh was a strong kicker for his age. Most kickers in the league at this age had a 60 percent success rate. Josh was becoming a star. He was one of the only kickers in his league that could kick 30-yard field goals consistently. Under this pressure, however, it would be easy to shank the kick.

Josh looked to the stands as he ran out on the field. His mother gave him a "thumbs up" for encouragement. The crowd was going crazy as the Redbirds lined up for the extra point. They were either going to be playoff bound or go into overtime.

"Green 72, Green 72... Hut..." the ball was snapped from center but was short, bouncing off the frozen tundra. Josh kept his composure and delayed his approach, if for only a fraction of a second. The ball took a lucky bounce and landed perfectly in the hands of the placeholder who spun the laces outward and held the ball in place. Josh approached the ball and gave it all he got. The ball, as if in slow motion, sailed through the goal posts sending the Redbirds to the first playoff berth in the school's history.

The Redbirds sideline went crazy. Jess, jumping up and down celebrating this amazing moment, peered in the distance to the field parking lot where she saw the blue Ford Taurus finally arrive. Disappointment, followed by anger, began to build inside her as her husband, John, walked across the parking lot to the front gate. Another family milestone missed. Like so many he missed before because of the family business.

Back at home, the tension was high. Confrontation was imminent.

"I'm sick of it, John!" Jess finally cried out, after the kids had gone to bed. "You're always working until eight or nine... when you do come home early, your mind is someplace else!"

"What do you expect!" John snapped back, "The store isn't going to run itself. If I don't do it, things don't get done!"

"Well, then maybe we should just sell it," jabbed Jess. She knew that was a real Achilles' heel for John. The idea of selling their retail business would mean failure, something that John was not capable of discussing, especially at the five-year mark. John knew that more than 50 percent of all small businesses fail within the first five years.

"Shut down the business?" John yelled back. "You know how much we've invested. We can't just close down."

"Well, I miss you, John," Jess said. "The children miss you. Josh scored the winning point and you missed it! When will that ever happen again? You should have seen the look on his face. You're missing everything! And look at these pictures Jackie drew. She's going to be an artist someday." Jess handed their daughter's drawings to John.

"Before you know it the kids will be grown and you're missing it," Jess continued, calming down and getting quietly emotional. "I feel like we're passing each other every day with the attitude, 'I'll catch up with you in 15 years.' I don't think so, John. Something must change."

Stammering in his desperation, John didn't know what to say. He had been too involved in the business. Retail is nights and weekends. Owning a men's clothing store had always been his life's ambition. He knew he was neglecting his family, yet how could he change? It's not like the problems of the store are going away. In fact, they've grown worse as the years and marketplace has changed, he thought.

"Things are not OK here, John," Jess said.

"I tell you what," John replied, "I'm going to cancel my hunting weekend with the boys. Let's do something together as a family."

Jess grew still. "No, I've already arranged for the kids to stay at my mother's. Quite honestly, I need to get away myself. I'm going away for the weekend with my girlfriends."

The stress of the small business was starting to pull apart his family, and John had no idea how he could stop it. Even spending two days in a hunting lodge seemed like only a short reprieve from a life that was spinning out of control.

The following morning John packed the car, hugged his kids and headed north for the lodge.